Hey You, btw I still Like You

It's been almost 4 years since I posted on this blog. Nothing changes, my feeling is still the same. I still love him as much as the day I realized it. Also, he's still doesn't even recognize that I'm here, watching over him, care about him, really wanna talk to him, wanna make him laugh.

Ugh, I know I know , this is exhausting. I know that I need to stop loving him, I come to realize that in many years I can't open up my heart for another man. Cause it's already filled in by him. Today, I wait for him, just for me to see his beautiful face again. In a really hot day, I sit still in patience. waiting for him to come.

Thanks God, today I see his face longer than yesterday. I'm really grateful for that.

This time, I don't even care if he likes me or not. I just wanna keep my feeling until its fade away naturally (I wish).

xoxo
This Girl

I'm fuckin DONE with you

I'm done with every sh*t about a guy. I mean, it's always me who get the feeling. Maybe, I'm to sensitive, or i don't know! The thing is, I always make the same mistake, always think that he likes me, when he actually doesn't. I know that every girl have this idea that somehow a guy likes her when he just being polite or being friendly, or maybe I was being used.

This feeling is so complicated, just like my heart. He really is complicated. Well, me actually. Despite of being honest, I choose being arrogant and so selfish. So, this is what I got! He really bailed on me! He dumped me (well, actually not, cause we're not together or whatever)

I know deep deep in my heart that I still love him, missing him, missing when we're study together for an exam. Cause I think we could be a good team. He's good at school, and well, I'm just fine. So, it's like we need each other.

I'm f*cking crazy about him, sometimes I walk a little faster in a school hall way just to get as far away from you, sometimes I have a little extra time in the morning just to impress you. But sadly, guess you don't notice, guess you don't need this, and you're not seeing what've you missing.

In the outside shining away, in the inside dying to say. That I love you AR

Now, everything is different. We never talk like we used to, never sit next to each other, never laughing together, you never flirt me, we never smile at each other. We never doing anything fun together anymore. I miss you AR, but I can't show what I feel about you. Cause, likely you have your own girl now. She's prettier, richer, great at sport, and she's a good girl.

I hope that you'll always be happy. 

xoxo

This Girl

Announcement

Okay, maybe now TR means nothing for me. Cause I've got the new one.
Tadaaa
It's AR from now on. Well, I'm not being slutty, but I know I'd realized that TR and me. hmm... well, it's like impossible. Yeah, not going to happen anyway. So, I decided to move on. Filling my empty heart with another guy. To be honest, the new AR is the same. I don't even know if he like me or not. Yeah, like is it just me 'again'? cause now it's happening all over again.

It was all started when we have always had a study together, we were like such a happy partners for studying, well actually not just that, there were many things that we did and I was feeling happy. The thing is, I'm a straight muslim, so I never talk with a guy. What I mean by that is, I never talk alone with guy. Yeah I never talk just 2 of us. And with AR, that's what happened.

But actually I didn't realized that it was just 2 of us were talking and laughing and sharing about our life, sharing about our opinion after one of my friend shouted " Hey look they are together." And, just like a cinderella at 12 o'clock, it's end. Our chat was ending and it's not happening again until today.

Now, I'm just missing him. I really miss him so bad.

xoxo - This Girl

TR ♥

OMG !!!!!!!!!!

You will never believe this, cause I also not believing in this weird situation, not weird but I’m just feeling happy like I’m flying onto the sky, butterfly flying in my stomach and I was like the dumb ass sitting in front of a PC while opening her mouth, yeah I was stoked. Ok, here’s the thing

"HE MESSAGED ME ON FACEBOOK"

Oh I can’t even think of it my heart skipping a beat, and I still can’t breathing. It was so incredible feeling. We never been have such a chatty chat before, but as always I seemed dumb at the conversation. I even did the silly thing for about 2 times in like 5 talk. But then I realized something, I always be good at dealing with a guy, I mean I always look like I’m a smart girl. Ye know? Like convincing with all of my incredible words, and my smart eyes. They always look stupid when they are talking to me, but in 3 years seeing him, 1 year be a classmate I always look like I’m a stupid girl instead. That’s what he does to me. Making me like a silly donkey. And I can’t even beat with it.

well, he was just talked to me as a friend though. But I want that situation since the first place, being a good friend, chatting about stuff, watching a movie with some other friends. I don’t want any love relation anyway. That my life principal.

I just like him, I like you TR  ♥

Xoxo This Girl

Ramadan Mubarak

Here I am, in my room. No one could never disturb me, sitting in a couch while grabbing my mockingjay book by Suzanne Collins, ye know the last book trilogy of hunger games. It's Ramadan Mubarak now, I'm so excited in this month of blessing, month of forgiving, I love you Allah. <3

Xoxo This Girl

Introducing Him

So, I'm feeling like I want to share about my love life. ok, I had a crush on someone when I was at 10th grade. He's my classmate and he sit right next to me. He is handsome with his curly black hair and his old lame green jacket. Everyone said that he looked awful with that jacket but I wasn't think that way. He is funneeh and also smart, but sometimes he can be so serious. We kinda had a competition in class but still wee had a great relationship as a friend back then, since I chased his dream to entered the best class in a 11th grade he turned out acting like he don't like me at all. That makes me wanna cry, he rarely smile at me, greet me or doing anything as a friend. I wasn't looking forward for a relationship as boyfriend-girlfriend, I just wanna be bestfriend until now, I don't think that going to happen.

In the 11th grade he found someone attractive and he decided to go steady with her. Can you imagine what it feels like for me? Seeing they going together as gf and bf. And I'm just the invisible girl who barely he don't know at all. Everyone said they were a great couple, and you can't even imagine how was my heart that time. It was breaking into a pieces. Since that I'm the sick girl inside.

In the 12th grade the finally breaking up, But hey I wasn't feeling happy at all. I'm still have a feeling for him and its hard to get away. I'm still dreaming about him, still stalking his twider and his facebook. Care about his future and his feeling. I'm still can't get over it.  I'm still the sick girl.

Xoxo This Girl

Introducing me

I'm a teenager lately, I still have 3 years more though. So, I'm a student of International high school (don't mean to brag) in a small city. I'm the religious kind of girl, I guess. At least I'm trying to close to Allah. It's actually have been 6 months, well technically it was started at new year. Ya know! like changing my self to be a better person. But I'm still me okay, still the crazy moody girl which have a big wart on her nose.

Xoxo This Girl